The End of The Semester

It is Monday morning and instead of going back through and refining the paper I spent over 10 hours writing yesterday, I find myself turning on my Christmas tree for the first time in days, lighting my Christmas tree candle, and opening up a blank blog page.  I have been ignoring this space for the past month or so, but now is the time I am feeling the call to come back.
The end of the semester is here and when it comes I seem to get a little silent around here.  I of course procrastinated all my work to the last minute (tomorrow) and now have to cram it all in.  But knowing tomorrow I will be done till January 5?  I can't wait.
So what else have been up to besides school?  Lots and lots of work.  Things are taking off for me in my internship even more than I could have believed.  The other day I had my first paying client!!! Nothing like a little money to make me feel official!
Hopefully after tomorrow I will be around this place a little more.  Nothing like Christmas time to give me some awesome things to share!  For now please grant me a little grace as I finish up my second to last semester of Grad School!

Random Life Happenings

Figuring out how to share my life on this blog has been fun, but sometimes difficult.  Little things happen that I want to share, yet they aren't exactly worthy of a full blog post.  So I came up with this post to share all those random life happenings!

If you follow me on any social media then you saw last week that I had my carpets cleaned (woohoo) and then thought I lost Brutus in the process.  While the guys were there cleaning the door had to be open and I thought I had done a good job of making sure he didn't get out.  But then they left and I could not find him ANYWHERE!  I freaked out and started sobbing ugly uncontrollable tears.  Then as I was leaving my closet from searching for him, I saw the glint of his eyes in the upper corner.  He was scared and hiding as far away as possible.
I have gradually been getting back into subbing this year.  So far I have been up at the middle school a lot.  Not exactly my favorite age group, but I gotta make the money.  Most of the kids are great, some remember me from last year, and others I have wanted to rip my hair out being around them.  #reasonswhyineverbecameateacher

I have been trying to cook a lot more lately.  I save money and it is way better for me to do.  I have loved being back in the kitchen, even if it is tough cooking for one.  So far I have made a broccoli and cheese casserole, chicken poppy seed casserole, and a taco casserole.  I think I have a thing for casseroles!  Any body have another good casserole for me to try?

For the last couple of months I had been using a different office at work when I had clients at the same time as my coworker.  Well the facility finally approved for me to call that office home and as of last week it got painted, I moved in all the toys, and I can now say I have an office!  Next steps: get an ID tag that doesn't say "volunteer" and a key to get in my office.  Working my way up in the world friends!
Well friends those are some of the fun things going on! Life is always busy and I am always on the go.  But things like a new office and cooking have been keeping me grounded.  Here is to a new week!

Real Life

In life we all try our hardest to portray who we want everyone else to think we are.  Whether it is on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or the Blog, the person you see is not that whole person.  I know for myself I want everyone to think I am way funnier, cute, and more put together than I really am.  Which makes me ask the question...WHY?

Why do we also want to be something we are not?  Is it because we have hopes and dreams of becoming that person we portray?  Or is it because we are ashamed of who we are?  Whatever the answer is to that question, I still wonder what is wrong with being who you are right now, at this very moment?

When thinking about this in my own life, I tend to think I am portraying the real me.  The good, the bad, and the ugly of Mosby.  But even when I share the bad and the ugly, I tend to share it with a joke, a smile, or make it out to be a whole lot better than it really is.  Or I am really vague about something so that I think I am being real but not vulnerable enough to show everyone everything.  

I believe that it is time for us to be us and embrace it all, even the messy side.  I know I am not a perfect person and I also know that I have yet to meet a perfect person.  So why is that what we want the world to believe of us?  I am done hiding parts of my life because someone might judge me.  I am done only showing the "good" side of me.  And I am done worrying over making sure every last thing I post is perfect.

Because the fully real Mosby is...

...A complete mess.  Dishes are never done the moment I am done using them (or even the next day), my bed is never made, clothes and shoes hide my bedroom floor from me, and if you sit on either of my couches you will get cat hair on you.

...Beyond sarcastic.  I really do crack a joke any chance I can whether you get it or not.  But if you don't get I will feel horrible and apologize.  It is always in good humor.

...Very sensitive.  Little things break my heart and it doesn't take much to make me cry.  One word or a whole paper about me will make me cry.  I can't stand it when someone is mad at me or doesn't like me.  

...An angry crier.  When I get mad, and I am talking REALLY mad, I cry.  And I hate this about me more than anything.  I want to be the strong person who can hold it all together.  But I don't.

...Horribly lazy.  #reasons why I am a complete mess.  I will put off working out, cleaning, and doing homework just because I simply would rather lay on my couch and watch some Real Housewives.

...Insanely proud of myself.  I have worked my ass off to get where I am at in life.  I wouldn't trade a moment of it.  My hard work and determination is what I am most proud of.  I love that I have a strong work ethic and that others notice that.  I never would have guessed in a million years I would be where I am today, but I am loving every minute of it.

...Anxious.  I have anxiety.  Social Anxiety to be exact (yes I diagnosed myself...I am a counselor you know).  I have known this about myself since I was little and have had a hard time embracing it.  I hate going to new places when I don't know what to expect.  And I always feel awkward and turn red when I talk for the first time.  Most people would never guess this about me...hence why I make jokes about everything.

...Big hearted.  When I love, I love hard.  I have a hard time letting go of people and things because they each have a little piece of my heart.  I am the type of friend who will be there in 10 seconds flat when you call.

There are so many other "real" things about me.   And my hope is to be showing everyone more of the sides of me I may not desire to always show.    So if you see me out on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram know your getting real life.   And if you know it's not real life Mosby, then call me out on it!