On Beauty

Yesterday I was watching Bethenny.  I seriously love her show and watch it anytime I am home to do so!  One of her segments was based on this clip of a woman being photoshopped.   If you have not watched it please go do it.  You will be amazed.
When you see her before and after picture next to each other she does not even look like the same person.  They did not leave one thing about her the same.  It saddened me to watch the video and then hear her perspective on it.
She claimed on Bethenny that she likes what she looks like in the photoshopped picture better.  Granted when I have not makeup on and am not smiling I will never say I like what I see.  This got me thinking about myself and how I view myself with and without makeup.
In the picture above you see my before and after from yesterday (neither have been edited at all and I tried to get them in the same light).  The left is my before.  I had just gotten out of the shower and all I had done was moisturizer, deodorant, and put in my hair product.  
The picture on the right is my after.  My makeup is all done and my hair has been dried and pulled back out of my face.
It's not that I do not like what I see on the left.  I just feel more confident with the after picture.  
Over the years I have gotten better about being seen in public without makeup on.  I remember the years of NEVER going anywhere without at least some foundation and mascara.  I have now gotten to the point of not caring.  I went work on Saturday without nay makeup on.  And plenty of people saw me!
Who decided what was pretty and what wasn't? Who said we always have to wear makeup and look put together?  Whoever they are…I'm not their fan.  I wish I had more confidence to not wear as much makeup as I do.  I try to keep it simple…but honestly I wear a lot more than I probably should.
I remember back to my camp days when we would have princess week (my favorite week ever!) and we would ask the girls to wear no makeup, not do their hair, and not look in a mirror for a whole day.  We even would cover the mirror in all the bathrooms.
The girls HATED that day (and I did too when I was a 14 year old camper!).  We were at a coed camp and saw the boys all throughout the day.  It broke my heart as I got older that so many girls would CRY over not being able to wear makeup.  They were all so beautiful without and who really needs makeup when it is 100 degrees out and we are playing sports!?
We are all made in the image of God. How can one not find that beautiful? Why would you want to change what God made you into?  I know everyone has their insecurities (I know I do) but if we could all just learn to embrace it all the world would be such a different place.
We  need to stop putting other women down because their nose is too big or they have acne or their hair is a wild crazy mess.  Who are we to judge?  Everyone is beautiful and everyone should embrace it!

10 days Later

Wednesday was Day 10 of the AdvoCare 24 Day Challenge I am doing.  Man did those 10 days take a while to pass.  I swear it feels like a month ago I started this challenge.  I have had so major ups and downs in those 10 days, but I feel as though I have come out on top!
So I was suppose to not eat any sugar, processed food, white flour, or alcohol.  Basically anything bad for you.  Well I failed that one miserably.  I have had it all.  I was hoping to stick to at least the no alcohol, but it was my friends 21st Birthday on the 10th day and it was not going good, so I took her out to dinner and well you know…you can't not drink on someone's 21st!
I also realized that I need to be more prepared with meals.  Last friday I was babysitting all night and that was my first major downfall.  We made cookies, we had spaghetti (I didn't eat the noodles just the meatballs), and I am a muncher and had some chocolate covered raisins.  I felt rotten after that night.
All that negativeness out the way… I did lose 5 pounds!!!!  That is the tastes 5 pounds I have ever lost. And other than no sugar, I found the diet and plan to be pretty easy.  Like I mentioned before, the diet is very similar to one I try to uphold anyways.  But no sugar?! Ugh I die for sweets…especially ice-cream!  I have not had ice-cream though! 
Here is what a normal meal for me is: 6 oz of protein lots of veggies a couple little tators (only for lunch though)

I am feeling so much better right now.  I really cannot wait to keep going with this and lose more! I definitely am back on the eating clean train.  When all is said and done, I will add in some cheat meals on the weekend, but I want my weekday meals to be clean!

My First Stitch Fix

Ever since we all found out about Stitch Fix I have wanted to do it so bad!  Only recently did I finally give in to my desires and do it.  I wanted to get it as soon as possible and knew I was going to have so much fun with it!  Here is what I received.
*please ignore my hair.  I had just gotten back from a hair appointment and had not fixed it to my liking.

I hated this top.  It was that high-low trend in a knit sweater.  It was also kinda cropped which I hate.  I would have loved this knit if it was longer.  Just so not me and not something I would have ever worn.

Both this top and jeans were in my Fix.  The jeans did not fit, which is why you do not see them very much.  About 2 inches too long and too tight on me.  Plus they were wide leg and I prefer a boot cut or skinnier leg.  I loved everything but the sleeves on this top.  Too wide on the end.  Also it was a touch tight in the shoulders.  But I LOVED the print!

I LOVED this dress.  It was a great style on me and I felt great in it.  I contemplated long and hard over this dress.  But I did not get it either.  I wash't in love with the color.  I do not wear a lot of blue and usually don't care for it on me.  And since I wasn't completely in love with it I could not justify buying it.

This necklace was the last piece I received.  I loved the necklace.  But I have something similar too it and I really do not wear too much jewelry.  So it was a no go too.
So I didn't end up purchasing anything.  Nothing was spot on with my style and what I wanted.  I also just went shopping the other day, so I wasn't as willing to spend more money on something I just liked. Just because I did not purchase anything does not mean it was not worth it!  It was so much fun and I will totally do it again in the future…after Christmas!

Legoland

You know the saying that Disney is the happiest a place in earth? Yesterday I would beg to differ. Legoland was the happiest place in earth for me. 

Mom and I met up with my cousin and his family to spend the day there. They have two young boys who are obsessed with Legos. It was so much fun to spend the day with them and seeing a new place through kids eyes. 

We walked around all day. Rode all the rides we could. Looked at all the characters. And spent lots of time catching up with my cousins. Oh how I love them and wish we lived closer. 

After realizing that I have been pushing myself really hard in school and working this was a much need day of fun.  I am so glad I went with them and got to relax and not have to worry about anything!

Expectations Are My Worst Enemy

One of my biggest struggles in life is my expectations.  I have always struggled with being able to control them and always find myself hurting due to them.  Most people in my life know this about me and I get constant reminders that I may need to lower my expectations for some people. Easier said than done for me.
The best way I can explain my expectations, especially of friends, is that I expect someone to treat me the same way I would treat them.  I expect niceness, kindness, genuineness, and truth amongst many things from people.  Because I believe those to be the basics of everyone and what I try to give out to others.  Unfortunately that is not true.  Not everyone acts that way.
I find myself in shock when I meet someone who does not match what my expectation was. Which is totally and completely wrong of me. I should accept someone for who they are, not who I want them to be. Quite a hard lesson to learn. 
Most days I pray that my expectations won't be too high. I want to be happy so I lower them when I can. But honestly that doesn't always work. My expectations are always in the back of my mind.
In life we are given struggles and this is one of my big ones. I hope one day my  expectations of others naturally won't be so high or that I learn to not expect everyone to live up to them. Until then I keep in trying!

I'm Gonna Lose It!

Last year I lost 20 pounds.  And then over the holidays I gained 10 of those pounds back.  And I never got rid of them.  Seriously not fun knowing I weigh more than I did a year ago when all I have been trying to do is lose.  
For the past year I have not taken eating right and working out seriously.  Life got in the way and I always had something else I had to do.  And always eating the right thing got boring when all my friends could eat whatever they want.
I heard about AdvoCare awhile ago from another blog.  It is no secret that several ladies have at least done the 10 day cleanse.  Back in August my sister did the whole 24 Day Challenge and lost 10 lbs!! I was so proud of her and had hopes of being able to do the same!
After saving some money (AdvoCare is NOT cheap) I made the plunge and purchased the 24 Day Challenge.  I started it yesterday 11-3 and I end the day before Thanksgiving.
During the time I cannot have: Sugar White flour Soda Alcohol Dairy Processed Food
Man am I glad I end before Thanksgiving! 
During this time my diet will look a little something like this: Spark 30 minutes before breakfast (energy like from coffee even though I can't have coffee)
Breakfast: Fiber drink (6 days during the first 10), protein, complex carb, and fruit.  Or a meal replacement shake during the last 14 days
Snack: fruit, veggies, hummus
Lunch: Protein, veggies, complex carb
Snack: same as above
Dinner: Omegaplex (vitamin) Protein and veggie
Snack: same as above
Fortunately I have eaten a diet very similar to this one and I know it works for me and that I can do it.  There are some other things mixed in as the days progressed but this is the basics.  I really look forward to feeling better with my eating.
Honestly my goal in all of this is to lose weight so that during the Holidays if I do gain some back I won't have done anymore major damage.  I am hoping this will also kick start me back into losing weight and staying on track with it!
Here are my before measurements:
Weight: 195 Height: 5'7'' Arms: 12 inches Chest: 41 inches Waist: 39 inches Hips: 49 inches Thigh: 22 inches
And the latest picture I have of myself at this weight:

Here is to hoping this will work for me and that I will be able to stick to it!  I am so ready to get this all back under control and make my health a priority again!

Relaxation and Renewment

This past weekend I made my way back up to Tennessee to visit some of my favorite people in the whole world.  Just like my last visit, this one could not have come at a more perfect time.  I was needing some girl time and time with people who really get me.  Not having to explain myself and knowing I was loved the whole time is exactly what I was needing. On Thursday morning as I flew over the mountains I was in awe of the beauty below me.  I have never flown up there during the fall when the leaves are changing.  I could not stop myself from looking out the window during the last part of my flight.

I was so lucky to have the amazing Danielle pick me up from the airport.  This girl is truly amazing I was so happy to have been able to catch up on her life and learn about where she is at.  Her light shines so bright and I love that I get to call her friend:)

I spent the rest of Thursday camped out on my favorite couch at Lauren and Jacob's doing homework till Lauren came home from work.  I am so thankful to have such great friends who make me feel so at home at their place! Friday Ashlee picked me up bright and early for an awesome morning.  She went to go get her haircut, and I don't know what she would have done if I was not there!  We have so much fun together and I loved that everyone knew we were truly best friends. We then met up for lunch with Lauren and Lauren.  Lauren took her lunch break and the other Lauren came so that she could steal me and spend time together.  I love it when people can meet over food and have so much fun! 

Friday night Lauren dragged me out for a run.  I didn't know how well I would do since I had not been running a lot lately or very far.  It was so gorgeous out and I was SO proud of my run!  I got in 2 miles with some pretty huge hills involved! That is the furthers I have gone in a while!

Saturday morning while I layer around the apartment, Lauren ran some more.  Afterwards we went to lunch where Danielle serves and off to a soccer game to support Lauren! We missed the last part of the game/the only part Lauren played in.  I felt beyond HORRIBLE for missing it! 

We spent the rest of the day as lazy bums.  We legit read for almost 6 hours straight.  And both Lauren and I were beyond happy doing so.  Yup we are lame! Throughout the weekend I was able to relax and be renewed.  The Truth was constantly spoken to me which was something I had been missing a lot lately!  I am thankful for friends who will always point me back to God.  I really needed that this weekend! I am so thankful to have had such an awesome trip!  I cannot wait to go back.  Unfortunately that may not be for some time:(