Monday, January 13, 2014

That One Time My Sister Set Me Up...

January 1, 2014.  A night I will not be forgetting anytime soon.  And no you should not be getting your hopes up that I am about to tell you all about how I met a wonderful man and we are now dating and happy happy happy.  Because that would be a lie.  A big lie.  Instead I will not be forgetting that night for a very long time because of embarrassment.  Horrible embarrassment!

You see Mattie, my wonderful sister wanted to go out that night.  It was the night before her 24th birthday and she wanted to start celebrating.  She begged and begged and begged me to go out with her.  I really didn't want to go.  It's not my scene and I knew I was not going to have fun.  But I didn't want her to go by herself, and I didn't want her driving.  So I went.

I should have known something was up when her tactic to convince me to go out was "You never know you might meet a boy!!"  We headed out to meet up with her best friend and his roommate whom neither of us had ever met before.  We got there, sat down, ordered drinks and it took off from there.

After being there for about 20-30 minutes I get a text from my sister "Hey do you think the roommate's cute?"  Thinking she was asking for herself and not wanting to make her feel bad I responded with "Yeah. Kinda."  Let it be known I was not attracted to him AT ALL! So not my type it's incredible.  Pretty much the exact opposite of what I like. 32 and divorced was the first sign it would never work.

Mattie had alternative plans.  She had her plan and put it into action.  She was setting me up.  So when I said he was "kinda cute" she took it as it meant I was interested in him.  She then drilled him with questions.  Which further got me thinking she was the one interested.  Next thing I know she keeps throwing my name into every sentence and "finding" things we had in common.  

"You like Auburn? So does Mosby!" (most weren't true) "You have a dog? She has a cat?" "Your divorced? So is Mosby!"

That last statement lead into this great story.  "Mosby married a guy from South Africa.  His name was Pablo and he spoke like 5 different languages.  But he would refuse to speak to Mosby in English.  That mixed with the fact that he would never put out made her leave him."  Yup she told him I was married and divorced.  Fortunately he was smart enough to catch on to the fact that it was a lie.

Then since marriage had come up, Mattie decided this guy and I (I think his name was Rob? That shows you how much I was interested) should get married.  And it should be on the beach since that is what I have always wanted.  And in bikini's!!!! Man she is a good wedding planner.

All night long she would not stop commenting on how perfect we were for each other.  I know I was greatly embarrassed and didn't know what to do and I am sure this guy was too.  I did my best to get away at the end of the night without and awkward goodbye.  But he then asked for my number.  I didn't know what to do so I gave it to him.  And he texted me that night and then never again.  Thank God!!

Oh and they made us take a picture together.  This is my "I'm pissed bitch face but I will fake smiling so you will get off my back." Also I only posted the picture so you will all know who not to ever set me up with.

From now on I refuse to ever be set up.  Especially by my sister.  Never ever again!  Have you ever been set up and it been horrible?  Please tell me all about it!!


Danielle M. said...

I'm dying over here. This is great stuff.

Lauren @ The Albrechts Blog said...

Oh my gosh hilarious. I second Danielle. And that is such a Mosby face haha!!!

Christa at Forever Young said...

This is SO hilarious!! Sorry it had to happen to you, but it's a great laugh!

Miss Riss said...

LOL, I have to admit Mosby, this is pretty funny!! And I can totally see the sarcastic B face coming out in your smile there, hahaha!! On the bright side, your scarf is way cute =)

Melissa Jo said...

Oh honey - there are much cuter Auburn men out there. Trust me - I see them allllll day long at work! :) Haha! I can't stand being set up either, its rather well, yeah - you understand!

Nina W said...

HAHAHAHA. This is so funny. Poor Mosby! Just say you did it for the blog.

Brittany said...

Omygosh!! I can't believe your sister did that!! So funny. and unfortunate.