Online Dating: Being Single Is Good

I have decided Brutus is the only guy I need in my life!
Back in September I signed up for online dating.  You can read about some of my adventures here, here, and here.  I have not blogged about it in almost two months for a couple reasons.
1. I had nothing to update 2. When I finally had an update I wanted to wait
Well now that I have waited I can share my update.  About a month ago I started talking to someone I met online.  Everything I saw on his profile was great and when we started talking we didn't stop.  It was so nice to have someone to talk to.  But as time went on things changed.
He was nothing but a gentleman to me.  We had so much in common.  We had plans to meet this past weekend (due to Thanksgiving we had been waiting to meet).  And then I had a change of heart and called things off.
So what happened to make me have such a drastic change of heart before even meeting him?  A lot actually.  And it was not a decision I came to over night, easily, or without a lot of stress on my heart and on my mind.
One of my constant and biggest prayers is that God will lead me down the path He has for me.  That I will follow His plan in everything that I do. When I started online dating it was incorporated into this prayer.  That I would follow the Lord's path for me and that if I was meant to find someone I would.  And I would because that was His plan for me, not my own plan.
When I started talking to this guy I continued to pray about whether or not he was the person I would have any kind of future with.  And if I was not to have a future with him then I would know it before I got hurt in the process.
After almost a month of talking (via text only) and with plans set for meeting, I was not at peace with any of it.  I had no butterfly feelings (really I had never had any while talking to him), I was sick to my stomach, and I could not sleep at all.  I would dread the idea that he would text me and I did not want to talk to him.  Nothing felt right.
All I could think about was if this was someone I would possibly have some kind of future with then why do I feel so negatively about it??  Why do I not want to talk to him at all?  Why do I get annoyed with things he says?  Why do I feel so stressed about it all?
I finally came to the realization that this was not meant to be for me.  When I brought it up to friends and loved ones they all asked the same question, "Are you sure this isn't nerves?".  Hands down I knew it was not nerves and I was not scared.  I may not know how to talk about my feelings, but I do know them and I know myself.  Things were not right.
Add in the fact that we live two hours apart and would have to each drive a ways to meet, I had to put and end to things.  And with the help of a wonderful friend I did.  I felt so completely awful to do this to him.  I knew it was going to come out of the blue, and I really hate hurting people.  He was so sweet and understanding which was so nice to hear.
The moment I told him my feelings and made the decision to not meet with him I was immediately at peace.  I was freed from my stress and worry.  I know I made the right choice and I do not regret it at all.  
Through this whole process I came to realize something pretty important.  I pushed for me to meet someone.  I told myself I needed someone in order to be happy.  I wanted to be in a relationship and I pushed for it to happen.  I followed my own path and prayed the Lord would follow.
I needed to follow my own path in order to learn that for the first time in my life, I am happy being single.  Being single is a good thing.  Through this time of being single I will better be able to bless others and myself.  I want to focus on my career and being the best counselor I can be.  
I feel as though this is the path God has for me.  And as long as I allow him to be in control of my life, I know that I will be doing what is right for me.  I know I will succeed and be happy, even if it is just me and Brutus.  For now I will enjoy this time of my life.  And when it is time for me to be in a relationship I will.

Things You Must Know If You Want to Date Me

I have been thinking about this post for quite some time now.  But I didn't now if I would ever publish it or not.  Then after talking to Nikki last night about how both of our parents have been promoting online dating for us, I thought maybe this was the perfect time to post it!

As well all know I am single. Very single. Very very single. And honestly there are no sites for a boy coming along for a long long time. I honestly don't know what I would do right now if I had a boyfriend. I mean I guess I would love him and spend time with him? But if there ever is going to be a guy in my life there are some things I think he may need to know.

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1. He must love Jesus. This is the number one thing he must know. I love Jesus and need a strong Godly man. Nothing else will do.

2. Brutus is my kid. And if Brutus doesn't like him then I don't think it is going to work. He's going to have to love Brutus just as much as I do. Yup I know I'm lame:)

3. I'm a princess. To the extreme. And I don't do dirt. I can do the beach all day every day, but any other outside things are just not my jam. I don't go camping, I can hike but don't always love it, and I'm not skilled at most sports. I mean if he wants to teach me I am all for it. And I actually kinda like watching sports. But playing? Not really.

4.  He needs to be taller than I am.  Tall enough that I can wear heels when I am with him.  I don't wear them very often, but when I do I do want to make him look short.

5.  Working out should be a priority to him.  It shows great discipline in him and plus I need a good work out buddy :)

6.  I don't go out and party…like ever.  I more of the stay at home and watch movies at night and cook dinner kind of girl.  I mean there are times when I can do a party.  But for the most part I am very low key.

7.  We will not live together before we are married.  For one my mom would disown me if I ever did this, for two it goes against many things I believe in.  Which is why I need a strong Godly man who would totally 100% understand all of this.

8.  My love language is quality time.  So spending time with me, even just sitting on the couch doing homework or watching tv, will mean so much more to me than buying me gifts.  In fact I find receiving gifts really awkward.  (This does not mean he will get away with NEVER giving me gift, especially for my birthday)

9.  I'm kinda a messy person.  My mom and sister would go nuts living with me.  Things just kinda pile up and then once a week or so I put them away.  Yes the clutter will eventually get to me, but for the most part I am too lazy to pick some things up.  This mostly applies to clothes and shoes.

10.  I have only ever kinda had one boyfriend.  And yes I mean kinda.  I know I'm almost 23 and thats kinda lame.  But I am also SUPER picky when it comes to guys.  It's a long story with why the one guy was a kinda, but lets just say I probe won't do long distance ever again.

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So there you have it.  If you have someone in mind for me just know he must know these things.  Its all true too.  So yeah.

Also don't forget about this giveaway we have going on! It ends this friday and lets just say I wish I could win $130 to J.Crew!

It's Ok to Be Single

Ashley from Overcome The Lie contacted me about being part of the blog tour she is doing. I could not believe she wanted my little blog to participate! I am so excited to be part of the tour and getting to meet so many new people. So to all of you who may be stopping by from the tour: welcome! I hope you enjoy what you read and stay and follow along!

Overcome The Lie is a "social media movement + we exist to empower a generation of women to overcome the lie because Jesus overcame the grave.  We want to encourage women, giving them the resources + opportunity to walk free of the lies, using the authority that Jesus hands them." I love everything what Ashely and her movement stand for. Showing others how Jesus forgives and what we can overcome because of him? What could be better?!

Ashley has given me complete freedom to write about anything on my heart. I prayed a lot about what I wanted to share. I wanted it to be not only something that Jesus has shown me in my life, but also something that could be tangible in other women's lives. And just as He always does, Jesus provided the perfect topic for me to write about. 

If you have been around here then you may have already read my post about my sister setting me up. Oh how fun that one was...not! Even before that lovely evening, I had decided I was going to write about being single and how it was the right thing for my life right now. And then that night happened and I just KNEW I had to share my heart. 

I have had like half a boy friend in my twenty two years. Yes half of one. I say that because it was long distance and we talked for like 9 months then went on one date and I was done. So does that even count as a boyfriend? Also he was the only guy I have ever kissed. That all happened two years ago. 

Since then I have been single. Very single. There have been times when all of my friends had boyfriends and I wished for one. I wanted someone to spend my Friday nights with, someone I could talk to, someone who wanted to be around me. But that has not happened.

Society tells us that we are nothing without a boyfriend. We need that person to define who we are. I mean how many times are you asked "do you have a boyfriend?" I swear everytime I see an old family friend or meet someone they ask me that. And honestly it's getting old. What does is matter if I am dating anyone or not? That has nothing to do with who I am.

Jesus calls us to have one person we have our identity in. And that is Him and Him alone. He is the only man I want to define me. I desire to be the person He has called me to be, not what the world may think I should be.

And if thag means I need to be single right now in order to be the person he wants me to be, then ok.  I can live with that.  I have come to terms with the fact that I am single.  I have accepted it and even embraced it.  Yes there are still times when I desire to have someone in my life.  But I know I am following the path God has given me.

For all you out there who are single and wondering when in the world you will ever find the man for you, I encourage you to take a look at your life and see if that is what you really need to be focusing on.  For all you know God has a plan for you to be single for now too.  There is still hope out there for me to find someone, but for now I am happy and single.  And I hope you all will be too!!