Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Love Languages

Have you ever heard of the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman?  Or what about his website?  If not you seriously need to go check them out right now!
For some reason love languages have really been on my heart lately...particularly mine.  If you do decide to check out the website you can take a quiz to see what your top love language is.  A love language is the way you best communicate with others and feel love from them.

There are 5 Love Languages:
Words of Affirmation (7)
Quality Time (11)
Receiving Gifts (5)
Acts of Service (4)
Physical Touch (3)

Now you may be wondering what those little numbers to the side mean.  Those were my scores on the quiz.  The highest score you can get is an 12.  And the language with the highest score is the one you predominantly use.

As you can see above my main Love Language is quality time.  This could not be more true.  I truly feel loved by someone when they spend time with me.  The fact that you would want to spend a little time with just me?  Blows my mind and makes me feel more special than anything.

Now there is a downside to this being my Love Language.  If I don't spend anytime with you, I do not feel loved at all.  This is mostly with my closest of friends and family.  This lately has been difficult for me to deal with.

Hear me out: a simple phone call counts to me as quality time.  You took time out of your schedule to talk to me and see how I am doing.  So it doesn't have to be in person.  

So the difficult part?  I am growing up and so are my friends.  Our lives are getting busier and busier which means less time to have the quality time that I so desperately need.  Logically I understand why this time has to be decreased, but that doesn't stop my heart from being sad.

I am sad I don't get to be around some of my favorite people as much as I would love to.  Yes I know expectations play into this, but sometimes I just need some quality time.  I could care less what we do, where we are, or what we talk about.  I just want to be around those who are special to me.

This has definitely been something I have been battling the last couple of months.  How do I compromise how I feel loved and still feel loved? Does that even make sense? I guess what I want to know is how else can I feel loved by others without quality time?

I do not have an answer to this question.  

Sometimes I just wish everyone would know this and give me that quality time I need.  Maybe I need to come up with a better way of conveying to those I love that I need this time.  Maybe they should just read this and know.

So there is what has been on my heart as of late.  If you do decide to take the quiz or have let me know! I would love to know what your Love Language is!!

1 comment:

Julie said...

I've done this before and my results were really similar! My top one is quality time as well, and I'm still trying to learn to find the balance I need to keep it fulfilled. It's so nice to just be sitting in the same room as those I care about– it brings me so much peace and happiness. Although being an introvert kind of clashes with it because I LOVE my alone time as well!