Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Online Dating: Am I Too Picky?

Even before I decided to try online dating I knew I was pretty picky about who I would date.  If you have been around these parts for a long long time then you know I have only been on one date and that was when I was 20 years old.  Usually what has happened is I like a guy one day and then the next I am over it.  Or maybe I am just too picky...

I told myself when I first signed up for Online Dating that I was going to be as picky as I wanted to be.  I am not desperately seeking a husband or needing to have kids by tomorrow.  So I would wait until the right person comes along, whether online or in person.

But I have been asking myself lately if maybe I am too picky and have too high of expectations.  I have definitely seen some guys online that I would want to get to know more.  And there has definitely been some guys who have wanted to get to know me more.  At one point though, I had looks at over 300 profiles and only liked 20 of them...

One of two things usually happens when I look at someone's profile.  One I am attracted to them but their job/education/ activities do not match what I am really looking for.  Or two their job/education/activities match what  am looking for but I am not attracted to them.  Granted for the second one I am going off pictures and I have quickly learned that guys have no idea what pictures look good and what pictures look awful.

So do I give someone that falls into one of those two categories a chance?  Or do I stay picky and wait?  To be perfectly honest the only ones I have second guessed are the ones who I am not immediately attracted to.  I tend to wonder if in person they are more attractive than their pictures.  But then I talk myself out of things a move on for the time being.

So as usual, I am seeking yall's advice on this one.  Do I stay picky or do I open up my standards a little bit?  You guys always have the best advice, so help a girl out!
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9 comments:

Mosby Hardin said...

I think it would be so hard to figure out if you might be interested in a guy based on an online profile. But if anything, I'd go with personality/interests/character over looks. Probably at one point I would have said that I thought tall and skinny guys were attractive--my husband is short and not-skinny but I surprised myself with how very much I like him. :)

Amy said...

This sounds like such cliche Christian advice, but I'm gonna go for it anyway. Pray about it! I don't think there is anything wrong with being picky, especially when it's about GOOD things. As I prayed about dating, I saw some things really become important to me. And other things, not as much.

Funny story, I used to be so turned off by guys who lived at home, and had consistent typos in their texts. PJ lives at home, and has dyslexia. And I am so attracted to both of those qualities about him. I love seeing his relationship with his parents, and when I see a typo, I giggle and praise God for making him EXACTLY as he should be.

But the important stuff? Like feeling chemistry/attraction, and his heart for the Lord? Those were things I was "picky" about, and God totallyyy came through. :)

Mosby Hardin said...

Be picky...but also keep in mind just because someone has different interests than you doesn't mean you wouldn't be compatible. Nate and I hardly have anything in common when it comes to like, hobbies and interests, but as long as your value system and beliefs align, who cares if you like to do different things in your down time!

Mosby Hardin said...

You're so right! I need to keep an open mind but the major things need to be important! Thanks friend!

Mosby Hardin said...

It really is hard to know based on a profile. Definitely need to meet someone to make a definite opinion.

Mosby Hardin said...

I think that you should just go out on a date! There are no strings attached and you might have a good time. You don't have to go into thinking it will be forever. It should just be something fun to do and maybe it'll turn into something more or maybe it won't. You'll never know unless you try! If anything, you will probably get a free dinner and drinks ;)

Mosby Hardin said...

I think you should go on dates, but stay picky! The right guy will come along! But you should have fun while your waiting for mr. right!!

Mosby Hardin said...

I totally agree with you! I am starting to change the way I am viewing this whole dating thing!

Mosby Hardin said...

My mom is single and the same exact way as you. It drives me crazy!! I am all for the "give it a chance and see what happens" you never know and if nothing else you met someone new and did something different for a couple of hours.