Monday, July 21, 2014

To Smokey, From Brutus

Yo, Smokey what up man? I saw you blog post on your Nina's blog the yesterday and asked you if I could steal the idea and write you.  You told me to so I am.  My name is Brutus and Mosby is the human who belongs to me.
She thinks that I am her kid, but let's be real here she is MY human. And I'm a cat. Not a kid. She also seems to call me all kinds of names, never really Brutus. And like dude that's not cool. I am a man and shouldn't be called "B" "Beebs" "BB" "Baby" "Boo Boo" "Bunny" (doesn't she know I am a cat!?) or "Honey Bunny". 

She also tortures me with pictures all the time. And I am all like "I'm over this dude. Stop right now!"  It didn't seem like Nina did this to you. Or really you have figured out how to make it stop. Help a bro out dude and give me some tips on how to stop this now!

I really wanted to show you the house I tricked my Mosby into getting me. I really just wanted a new toy so I kept jumping up on her counters and messing with her food and knocking things over so that she would get one. Do you have one of these Smokey? Just follow my example and you will get one!

Also do your humans have these things called shoes!? Mosby has a bazillion of them. And dude THEY ARE AMAZING!! They smell sooooo good and you can fit your head inside most of them. Find ya one and try it man, I promise it's better than catnip!

I have this other tip I wanted to give you. Take your bed and pull it up to your bowl of food. It's like heaven (do you believe in heaven and God? Don't tell Mosby you don't, she will talk you ear off about that and try to "save" you. Again I'm a cat mom!) Seriously dude try this one and you won't ever have to leave your bed. 

And even though you are like way older man, here is my last tip of advice for you from us young ones: wear the clothes! They are quite comfortable dude and you can get away with things like eating human food from the table.  I mean my Mamerz didn't even know till now at I did this. Got you again Mamerz and I will win the war!!!!! But back to the clothes dude, get ya some. Seriously worth it in the winter. 

Well Smokey, my man, I am off for another nap. Give me shout for our world take over if your in. I think we could make it happen...just don't tell the humans!




Nina W said...

Brutus! My fellow Chap,
I am quite curious about these so called "clothes." They sound fantastic! However, as I am an outdoor cat, and have outdoor things to do, then I best not wear these clothes. Nina is mean and because she is "allergic," I'm not allowed inside. Thus, the only human foods I eat are the hotdogs I can sneak off at bonfires. My life is a Shakespearean tragedy.


Brittany said...

haha too cute. I love manly Brutus sounds

Miss Riss said...

Brutus you're quite a manipulative thing aren't you? Go easy on your Mosby, she just loves you. Also, keep your eye infections under control would ya??