Every time I travel on a plane I take a book with me. I love to read and it keeps my mind off of the anxiety I have with flying. This trip I chose to bring along The Giver by Lois Lowery. I remembered reading this book back when I was a kid and since the movie is coming out soon I wanted to reread it.
I tell you all about this because while reading the book, I had such a strong desire to be in the world the book created. In this world they do not feel strong feelings or really know what they are. All feelings are kept by the "Receiver" because they are of the past and the guardians of the world do not want the citizens to experience them.
This last week my emotions have been a touch out of control. I have cried at the drop of a hat so many times. People probably think I am crazy. I was so beyond sad to leave Lauren on Monday. It felt as though it physically hurt my heart to leave the comfort of my best friend. I have also experienced extreme anger with a peer, which turned into anxiety. And anxiety makes me cry.
What I would give most days to not feel these feelings. It makes life hard and undesirable when I just can't function like normal. It has been a tough time for me lately and I have even started to wonder why God would have me go through all of this right now.
I am reminded of the sermon Sunday morning. Continuing on looking in the book of Acts, the pastor talked about how sometimes God brings us to the bad days. It is purposeful and intentional on His part to do so. But why does he? Because He knows something GOOD will come soon. He is preparing us for the GOOD. And if anyone knows GOOD it is Him!
The pastor asked the question "Do you turn to God during the bad days, or run and push him away?" I want to turn to God during the bad days. And no he won't fix the bad right away. It may take time, more than I would like. But He will bring me through it all.
I am clinging to God through all of these tough days. I know He is shaping me into the person He needs me to be. He is doing the same to you too. Those days you just want to curl up in a ball and cry? Cling to Him and hold onto the truth given to us. It's not easy to stay, but when you do, you will never regret it!