This past week or so I have been having some major struggles with everything going on in life. As we all know by now, I moved back into college. This was a much bigger transition than I thought it would be. And I really don't know why. It's not like I'm a freshie...I am a SENIOR for goodness sakes! I have done this already before!
But needless to say I am still struggling adjusting to where I am. I am tired all the time and feel like I am running in a circle.
Tuesday night the band All Sons and Daughters came and performed at Milligan. Let's be honest, I only went because I needed the SFP credit only 46 more to go by graduation. I really did not have an open to heart to what was going to happen and really just wanted to leave as soon as I got there.
Little did I know God had a completely different plan for me. He opened my heart that night as well as my eyes to why I was struggling so much with everything going on in my life. Oh the things only He can show us!
I started to realize that I was focusing on all the wrong reasons for doing things. I was in the mindset of "I need to be the PERFECT friend" "I need to be the PERFECT student" "I need to be the PERFECT daughter" "I need to be the PERFECT employee" "I need to have a PERFECT workout" etc.
Notice a theme there? PERFECT. I strive so hard to do things to the best of my ability. I never want to let anyone or myself down. This resulted in me trying to perfect every little aspect of my life. And let's be honest again: that is not possible!
I needed Tuesday night to make me see this. I needed to be at that concert worshipping the Lord. I needed all of that more than I thought I ever would.
Now can I sit here and tell you that I am not completely stress free? No, I still have a ton of things to do. But by removing that mindset of perfection, I am able to take things a little slower. I know that I will get things done and all will be ok. I need to learn to calm down and focus and then all will fall into place.