Real Life

In life we all try our hardest to portray who we want everyone else to think we are.  Whether it is on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or the Blog, the person you see is not that whole person.  I know for myself I want everyone to think I am way funnier, cute, and more put together than I really am.  Which makes me ask the question...WHY?

Why do we also want to be something we are not?  Is it because we have hopes and dreams of becoming that person we portray?  Or is it because we are ashamed of who we are?  Whatever the answer is to that question, I still wonder what is wrong with being who you are right now, at this very moment?

When thinking about this in my own life, I tend to think I am portraying the real me.  The good, the bad, and the ugly of Mosby.  But even when I share the bad and the ugly, I tend to share it with a joke, a smile, or make it out to be a whole lot better than it really is.  Or I am really vague about something so that I think I am being real but not vulnerable enough to show everyone everything.  

I believe that it is time for us to be us and embrace it all, even the messy side.  I know I am not a perfect person and I also know that I have yet to meet a perfect person.  So why is that what we want the world to believe of us?  I am done hiding parts of my life because someone might judge me.  I am done only showing the "good" side of me.  And I am done worrying over making sure every last thing I post is perfect.

Because the fully real Mosby is...

...A complete mess.  Dishes are never done the moment I am done using them (or even the next day), my bed is never made, clothes and shoes hide my bedroom floor from me, and if you sit on either of my couches you will get cat hair on you.

...Beyond sarcastic.  I really do crack a joke any chance I can whether you get it or not.  But if you don't get I will feel horrible and apologize.  It is always in good humor.

...Very sensitive.  Little things break my heart and it doesn't take much to make me cry.  One word or a whole paper about me will make me cry.  I can't stand it when someone is mad at me or doesn't like me.  

...An angry crier.  When I get mad, and I am talking REALLY mad, I cry.  And I hate this about me more than anything.  I want to be the strong person who can hold it all together.  But I don't.

...Horribly lazy.  #reasons why I am a complete mess.  I will put off working out, cleaning, and doing homework just because I simply would rather lay on my couch and watch some Real Housewives.

...Insanely proud of myself.  I have worked my ass off to get where I am at in life.  I wouldn't trade a moment of it.  My hard work and determination is what I am most proud of.  I love that I have a strong work ethic and that others notice that.  I never would have guessed in a million years I would be where I am today, but I am loving every minute of it.

...Anxious.  I have anxiety.  Social Anxiety to be exact (yes I diagnosed myself...I am a counselor you know).  I have known this about myself since I was little and have had a hard time embracing it.  I hate going to new places when I don't know what to expect.  And I always feel awkward and turn red when I talk for the first time.  Most people would never guess this about me...hence why I make jokes about everything.

...Big hearted.  When I love, I love hard.  I have a hard time letting go of people and things because they each have a little piece of my heart.  I am the type of friend who will be there in 10 seconds flat when you call.

There are so many other "real" things about me.   And my hope is to be showing everyone more of the sides of me I may not desire to always show.    So if you see me out on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram know your getting real life.   And if you know it's not real life Mosby, then call me out on it!